My two daughters, 16 months apart and raised as twins these past 14 years. My hopes and dreams and especially, my prayers, for them continue today. To be godly, faith filled, joyful and sweet daughters, girls and women.
In this life, our home is quiet. We do not have extended family, have not found like minded faith by and large in our church family, suffered church splits, ridicule and shunning. Today we are in a church body we are most grateful for yet the years have meant not so many friends or comings and goings for us and our children. We are quiet by nature, preferring to keep out of church politics and all the usual circles that people operate in it seems by default. We have made our mistakes, sinners by nature too. Yet, we are forgiven in Christ!
Our children have raised up faithful and obedient but dare I admit - lonely. To this end and particularly lately we have introduced out of the home activities for them. Each considered with much prayer and thought but this week two things have me feeling thwarted at best and a little cheated as well.
Our daughter was being briefed for an upcoming activity and had to squirm in her seat when assaulted with way too much information on upcoming rules and regulations between her and her co-horts in this activity. Good moral boy/girl rules yet could they not have been put with the correct anatomical phrases instead of what I'll call street slang? To God's praise because of how we raised her, she came home and told us everything as she does each activity but to see this young girl's reaction to what she heard and how she felt was just disappointing to this Mum.
My immediate reaction - pull her out! Yet what then? Is there anything better to offer her? The tyranny of decision -
boredom and it's inherant ills
the chance to season and engender resilience in her all the while praying she can swim and not be engulfed and drown in it ...
I don't like those chances.
We monitor, keep talking, watch and pray but still ... I don't like it.
My middle son during the course of an accredited college course is offered and instructed on alcohol use and taste all the while under age!
Thank God for relationship and conversation with each child yet the perils and disappointing seasons of parenting. Is there anyone who cares about my child as I do. Well, no. That's the point isn't it of our children and not just having them but raising them. Of taking the time day after day, year after year to pour values and principles into them. Faith and words to live by when life's storms blow and even when just winds of change cross their face. Of forging relationship with them by our time, our heart, our prayers, our hopes and dreams. Of letting them go that first time they are ready to "lift off". Of watching them fly, maybe sputter, maybe crash and burn even.
Somehow I expected they'd be more ready, there'd be more care for them, more interest in their welfare from strangers but there isn't. People are by and large good. Not godly but good. Yet no one really cares about your own as you do.
Lord, help me to graciously accept your hand to me today. All the while trusting and hoping in you alone. In your promises to me and to my children. Amen.